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contains strong language and mild sexual content

0579: Can Never Bee Too Careful in Dressed to Impress 17th Aug, 2020
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0579: Can Never Bee Too Careful
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Author Notes:
Mel Cormac edit delete
Mel Cormac
I wish I was making this up, but...
User comments:

RazorD9
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RazorD9
Huh, I want to be surprise, I truly do. Now I am questioning how jaded I am yet again.
anonymous coward (Guest)
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I recommend looking at some nice pictures of scenery from Reddit's "Earthporn" section as a unicorn chaser instead. "Jadedness," only really gets problematic at the point you are one of the people trying to profit from bee venom cosmetics.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Beauty products are so weird, I'm at least rarely surprised in that specific area...
Microraptor
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Microraptor
At this point, Jon could just as well date a poison dart frog...
anonymous coward (Guest)
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They are pretty and quite appealingly colourful.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Haha, fair point!
The Chessmaster
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The Chessmaster
And he still thought bees weren't the worst possibility? He must be really allergic to bears.
anonymous coward (Guest)
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With anaphylactic shock, if you get a shot of adrenaline in time you're probably okay. There's not much medical science can do if you die on the spot from dismemberment and rapid blood loss, or if people in real life start calling you a furry because you tried to hit on a bear.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Jon's fear of bears is extremely irrational, considering as you say bees could also kill him, and he lives in a country that doesn't have bears, but does have bees
Guest (Guest)
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Clearly they only seem to not have bears as the bears have cleverly disguised themselves as attractive coeds
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Reminds me of the story of this one person who played a bear in D&D but with such high charisma no one in their party knew they were actually a bear
Squirreltastic-Blue
All your characters are weird.
And I like it.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
:D
anonymous coward (Guest)
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So that's why she was walking so far apart from Jon: Once hospitalized, twice shy.

Snake oil salesmanship never dies, or at least it won't until people start facing jail time and complete divestiture for it.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Making sure at the beginning of every date that she hasn't eaten anything or put anything remotely near her mouth that could accidentally kill him

The funny thing is, it's extremely unlikely she could transfer penicillin with a kiss, but at this point she wants to be extra cautious!
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Eh, as long as that's the full list and he doesn't develop new ones that's not too bad. Of course it's Jon so he either has another, unidentified allergy or he's going to develop a new one just in time. Maybe a latex allergy this time? That could be a fun one to figure out in the bedroom.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Considering Jon's luck so far, it wouldn't be that surprising for that to happen, would it? I'm not sure even I'm that cruel though
LinkyBoy
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"Feel this bee venom lip plumper work, with a tingling plumping sensation."
Seems legit... as long as one doesn't try to imagine whole beehives dedicated to venom pumping, and the related contraptions.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
It's one of those things where I'm like "I guess it would work, but why though?"
anonymous coward (Guest)
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melittin
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bee_venom_therapy

If feels like a satire, doesn't it? I suspect the product in question does not actually have bee venom in it, for good reason. I hope I'm right.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
"See also: List of ineffective cancer treatments"

Faith in humanity: sharply falling