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contains strong language and mild sexual content

0532: Results Day in Third Things First 25th Nov, 2019
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0532: Results Day
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Author Notes:
Mel Cormac edit delete
Mel Cormac
Wow panelling this one was interesting.

I don’t know what the screen for getting your uni results online looks like because it’s been so long since I was a student I forgot. Just a reminder of my own mortality.
User comments:

Microraptor
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Microraptor
He got third - it's just that there are only three people in this class....
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Haha, reminds me of that time I won third place... and there were only two participants
SunnySideUpSmile
My heart honestly aches. I know how that feels

Unless that's not what it means and I'm an idiot
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Probably means what you think! Long story short, in the UK, a third is the lowest mark you can get at uni and still pass. So it's not the worst thing, but still not fun
anonymous coward (Guest)
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I know why I don't ever want to be in a English culture (literature) or social sciences class again: Too much of the criteria tends to be subjectively scored and/or how much the teacher likes your bullshit as opposed to whether or not you've learned and did something beyond more bullshit. I appreciate that this is how cultural value is usually judged in the actual world (I.E. poorly) but that doesn't make it less irritating to see someone who was literally writing down drunken nonsense get praise for their effort, wit and insight.

Of course Jon may have worse problems than just that.

P.S. They're at their computers and they aren't using those to make the call.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Yeeeeah that's a thing I got a bit annoyed with when I was at uni, but then again I only seemed to get low marks when I didn't get a firm grasp of the module, so I guess they liked my bullshit? Haha

And I think I subconsciously gave these two the same feelings about Skype as me. I feel weird using Skype for someone I can easily call on my phone. Plus I think it's clearer when the call is terminated if it's on a phone - yeah look at me justifying it like it was a conscious choice
anonymous coward (Guest)
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No, no, when you actually know, understand and apply the material that's arguably creativity instead of bullshit. I'm complaining about the ones who brag afterwards that they never learned a thing but the teacher gave them high marks anyway. You know, the ones who show off the twaddle they wrote later to prove that whoever was doing the grading couldn't be arsed to do a competent job.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
I was fortunate not to run into anyone like that on my course!

Only very pretentious literary fiction writers!
anonymous coward (Guest)
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That sounds potentially fun, actually. What kind of pretentious were they, the kind that can't use a three letter word where they could instead use two twelve letter words and a foreign term instead?
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
There was a mix - some were like that, others wrote genuinely good stuff, and were just quiet and pensive, but made a face when you talked about writing fantasy or sci fi
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Aha, I may have something worth trying when faced with that particular kind of pretentious: "I'm Charlie Stross, and it's my job to tell lies for money." Rephrase that as necessary, and perhaps note that an amateur author is someone that doesn't even get paid for it.
JC Webcomics
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JC Webcomics
Look on the bright side Jon, being at 43, at least you know you're a clear pass, and not a borderline grade that got bumped to a pass because it was easier than writing a re-sit paper/dealing with an appeal!
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Exactly! I bet a lot of people just barely scrape by because of that! At least he knows it was always going to be a pass!
Matt Jones (Guest)
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So for us in the USA, it would be the equivalent of getting a C. Still passing, but barely. (Our grades are A,B,C, and F. E is for excellent on non-critical grades)
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Ah, that's about the same here. The lowest passing grade in uni is 40% (unless you attend the Open University, then it's 50% because???)

In university (for some reason, probably to do with Oxford) you don't get A B C etc. but 1st 2:1 2:2 and 3rd which are basically the same thing, but we have to feel special here
Matt Jones (Guest)
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Our lowest passing grade is 70 (out of scale of 0-100). Some colleges grade of a strange scale where 92-100 is an A, 85-91 is a B, and 75-85 is a C. There's no real common system and it makes for headaches when attempting to calculate your grade point average when going between schools or trying to apply at a school that uses a different system.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Oof, that's confusing.

Also damn, 70% to pass! That's crazy to me
David D. (Guest)
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Technically a 60% is passing most places for undergrad, especially if the class isn't in your major. I definitely passed Chemistry 1 with a D (typically 60%-69% is a D).

I think I was required to average somewhere between a B and C for my major, but individual classes could still be passed with a D.

It gets really complicated when they do the plus/minus system, because then it's A, A-, B+, B, B-, C+, C, C-, D+, D, D-, F and the percentage needed for all those tiers varies from place to place.
anonymous coward (Guest)
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I have an idea for how to improve both specifically the American grade-lettering system and grading systems in general: We should the letter system American bra manufacturers use for cup sizes. It starts with F (or is that DDD?) for an 100% marks grade and goes down to a B for the barest minimum of passes. A would be a fail, and spectacular failures would be AA.

There are three prime benefits to this proposal: First, it's reverse-alphabetical, except for the failure grades, which makes it more confusing and difficult to take seriously. Second, it would make every single discussion of marks into a sophomoric discussion of boobies, and then prudes would help us censor it out of formal and public speech and communication. Finally, with discussion and display of grades banned the education system can waste less time, effort and ceremony on applying variably-arbitrary labels to people and instead spend that effort on teaching something interesting or useful.

The biggest problem is that this proposal is unfortunately misogynistic and/or misandrist. If someone else has a less problematic or more effective idea for how to censor grading out of existence, I'm all ears.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
I propose we use the only truly objective scale: best ice cream flavours

Vanilla would be an A, strawberry a B, mint chocolate a C, and so on

No one can argue with such a robust system, and talking about bad marks will remind people of delicious ice cream, which will cheer them up!

No further questions
The Chessmaster
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The Chessmaster
I propose we ruin the above proposal by substituting pizza for ice cream.

Not only will any mention of grades immediately devolve into arguments about toppings and whether cold pizza is great or gross, but it will also make people crave pizza right in the middle of class.

Anyone who survives this without going insane or dropping out gets an automatic Frozen Hawaiian.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
You solved it!

"Hey man, I got a double pepperoni!"
"Congratulations, that's great! Want to get a B+ to celebrate?"
anonymous coward (Guest)
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These are both improvements, thank you. The best part about these suggestions is that they will lead to immediate whining by people with lactose intolerance and other food issues with milk products. Pizza especially has all sorts of fun with wheat/gluten issues from the crust, as well as bacon, ham, meatballs and pepperoni (which traditionally is made out of both pig and cow at the same time) to annoy all three of Jewish people, Muslims and Hindus (and also vegans and vegetarians I suppose).
So, after the revolution we'll describe grades as pizza WITH icecream on top.