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contains strong language and mild sexual content

0503: Ariesolution in On the Virgo of Madness 13th Jun, 2019
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0503: Ariesolution
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Author Notes:
Mel Cormac edit delete
Mel Cormac
See? Jon learned something after all! And thus ends possibly the dumbest chapter I’ve ever made. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for the appalling puns in this chapter. I’m not that sorry about it, but it seems courteous to apologise.
User comments:

Microraptor
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Microraptor
Killing your brother is not a very good daily goal...
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Depends on how literal and successful it is. If it's just a little bit of anaerobic wrestling that he loses like he usually does this may count primarily as exercise and anger management.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
One of the rare goals that's better if you fail to achieve it
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Yeah! You need more time to plan, it's better as a monthly, or even yearly goal.
SarahSophia
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SarahSophia
Never apologize for puns.

First place goes to...
spelt bread/misspelt bread (imho)
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Haha thanks! I know lots of people hate them, but I love them! I was quite partial to the bread puns myself :)
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Puns are the perfect sort of pernicious, low-asshole provocation that makes most people blame the victim who retaliates instead of the shit-spraying asshole responsible for the pun. Just be careful not to make a habit of using them too often, or too freely. If we inflict them in the wrong place this can get us quietly fired, failed, rejected, unscheduled, or otherwise punished by one of the many, arbitrary authorities who may smite us without cause. Modern technology makes this more complicated, since nothing that goes on the internet ever gets truly deleted, so....
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
I don't tend to make a habit of annoying people, but using puns is my preferred method of moderately annoying someone--they can't even get THAT mad about it, because it's so harmless! THAT'S the perfect crime!
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Maybe I was a little too subtle, I was mostly making a joke about the very idea of trying to apologize for a pun. :)

For the rest, well, using puns is just one of those things we may do that rubs the wrong person the wrong way, at the wrong time, and ruins our chances of something we want forever. If the aim is to fail, I would try to pick a more obvious, big, and awesome way to fail than just annoying someone with bad wordplay. :D
Blotto
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Blotto
Usually when I use them I expect to get jabbed in the ribs, but it still doesn’t stop me because I grew up with them as a type of pseudo intellectual game.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
I usually get groans and/or threats of murder or disownment, but that doesn't stop me either.
anonymous coward (Guest)
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I figure you should know this better than me--and likely do--but my recommendation is know your audience. Sometimes it's even possible to get applause and free drinks for puns, or even a paying career that lasts for decades.
(Exhibit A: https://assets.amuniversal.com/a3fc7760a033012f2fe600163e41dd5b )
Blotto
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Blotto
Heh heh. I actually remember that strip XD
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Oh yeah, I get way better reactions from my pun-loving colleague than most of my family.

Also lol I've not seen that Dilbert page before, but that's legit something my dad would have done.
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Action: Salute, mount horse, ride off into the punset.
Thracecius
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Thracecius
Looks like she may not be a good match for a girlfriend, but she is a good sounding board for Jon. I hope he realizes that soon. :)
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Oh yeah, they'd make great catty best friends if Jon gave them a proper chance. Here's hoping!