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contains strong language and mild sexual content

0486: One of Those Faces in Rivals 15th Apr, 2019
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0486: One of Those Faces
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Author Notes:
Mel Cormac edit delete
Mel Cormac
Hey! As of this week Waste Of Time will be updating twice weekly, for a limited time! (i.e. for as long as I'm able to, which could be a couple of weeks, or a few months). Hope you enjoy the extra time wasting on Thursdays!

And now back to our regularly scheduled bad joke about today's page:

Jon: Why is everyone against me?
Also Jon: How dare you say nice things to me, you arsehole?!

P.S. There is probably no universe where a coke bottle could pass for a beer bottle, but Jon is taking advantage of the simplistic, cartoony style of this comic.
User comments:

Microraptor
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Microraptor
... or the company producing the coke may just have made some really misguided decisions in regards to choosing a new design for their bottles. ;-)
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Counterpoint: Consider the design and content of candy cigarettes. Such candy was usually not terribly good, and the desire to try some was motivated by what it looked like. I bet you anything that such considerations are very much part of the 'product design' of certain drinks pushers.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Oh yeah, it wouldn't surprise me if there were soft drinks with intentionally beer-like appearances for the "look, teach, I'm drinking!" factor
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Getting the kids used to holding a beer bottle from a young age! Very educational!
Matthew Jones (Guest)
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I beg to differ on the side being mistaken for a beer. There is a root beer here in the USA that is IBC. It's in a dark brown bottle. We were told once by an officer we had to put away our beverages at the lake until he found out it was root beer.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Oh yeah, I guess there are soft drinks with beery appearances. Probably more of nuisance if you're getting stopped in the park because of it!
Matt Jones
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It was a little, but it was also funny. We offered him one but he declined. :D

Also, hooray for twice a week updates.
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Wait, wait, we *know* Jon isn't being a designated driver here, because that is the sort of thing likely to only ever happen once. Why isn't he working on his tolerance by drinking one beer and then rounding out the night with low- or non-alcoholics? I suppose we shall probably see why later, when someone else talks to him about it. If the answer is that he's noticed he says and does daft things while drunk, that sets us up for a scorching burn about all the daft things he says and does while sober. :D

Also, I am well aware of how utterly infuriating it can be when someone one doesn't like is kind to them. It implies that the nature and vehemence of the grudge is beneath notice. It's one of my favourite forms of petty revenge.

P.S. Good luck with the schedule change, and do you currently have or plan on having a buffer? Buffers are great for trying to keep a consistent schedule.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Yeah, he'll go into why in a later chapter, but you're not too far off!

Yeah, Jon's pretty furious that Paul doesn't even have the decency to be a jerk to him. Paradoxically, that makes him seem like more of a jerk to him.

And yeah, I've got a buffer, which I reckon I can maintain at least for a little while, and I'm going to have a little more free time over the summer so fingers crossed!
steveha
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steveha
I am wondering how strong of a word "bastard" is in England. In America it's not a very strong word (would be unlikely to be censored on a television show during "prime time").

I was once on a British Air flight and on the in-flight entertainment I watched an episode of The Black Adder. Prince Edmund ("The Black Adder") was on trial for witchcraft, and after his accuser said something awful Edmund yelled "You bastard!" The in-flight version silenced the word, it just came out: "You <silence>"

So ever since then I have wondered how strong a swear word this is in England.

P.S. This link goes to the video for that episode. The moment I'm talking about is approximately 20:26 into the video.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5szx9r

P.P.S. The second Austin Powers movie was given a title that contains another British swear word. In America, the word is regarded as a curiousity, a Britishism rarely heard, so I guess Hollywood felt comfortable putting it on movie posters and such. According to Wikipedia, the posters omitted the word in some countries... but Wikipedia also claims that the use of the word in the movie title had the effect of making people more used to it and reducing the strength of its offensiveness.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
I wouldn't say it's very strong or anything, but it's not something we'd say to children, for instance. I certainly could have picked a harsher word, but there's something about the cadence of "what a bastard" that I really like for some reason
MST3KFan
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MST3KFan
Jon's drinking Coke?

Maybe he needs a little rum added to it...or not.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
"Rum and coke on ice, hold the rum."