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contains strong language and mild sexual content

0482: No Harm in Rivals 17th Mar, 2019
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0482: No Harm
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Author Notes:
Mel Cormac edit delete
Mel Cormac
Ty, are you sure? Ty, I have to say your name, Ty, because you haven’t shown up in three years, and readers may have forgotten your name, Ty.

Says a lot about me that the biggest mystery story I can muster is "who punched Jon?"
User comments:

RazorD9
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RazorD9
All we know is that the guy is a bastard, which is also usually used to address a male individual, even though it is a gender neutral term for anyone who's parents are not married upon conceiving the individual. No a days it is a term that is used for a rather unpleasant or lowly male individual. In conclusion, it is most likely a male individual that dared to strike Jon.

Would seem rude to bring back Ty just to punch Jon and it is very hard to believe Paul would do it, especially since I keep imagining him in his clown costume, make up and all.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Punched by a Clown: the much less popular CBS series
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Assuming that Jon was punched in the face may be a simple and obvious guess about what happened, but there are other, plausible guesses worth considering. For instance, which wall, floor, piece of furniture, or other immobile obstacle did the boys pick a fight with while fully soused? Who dared Jon to do something stupid while drunk (was it himself)? Did Jon have a drinking problem that resulted in him smashing his own shnozz with the glass? Did he try playing fetch with a rugby ball that bounced up off the turf?

P.S. I bet some of the readers have already forgotten Kevin's * name since the last time it came up.

P.P.S. The first time I looked at the post title I wondered if it was missing the letter E before the final M.

* I do know that "Kevin" is not his name. Sheesh, like I'd forget that these four characters are named Joe, Kim, Thomas and Peter.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
I love the idea of Jon missing a throw so badly he hits himself in the face

Also your final note made me laugh so much and I don't know why :'D
anonymous coward (Guest)
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I could explain, but most explanations I could give would be dry and/or depressing. I'll spare you.
Matthew Jones (Guest)
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What a bastard is a red herring. And the call from J Edgar Hoover was for me.
Thracecius
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Thracecius
HA! Clue! A masterpiece of comedy. The only movie based off a game that is actually enjoyable to watch. :D
JC Webcomics
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JC Webcomics
Well, their night certainly escalated...

Can't blame Jon for lateness - we all know that the closer you are to a place, the later you will be.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
When you're that close, you do the "ah, I've got plenty of time" routine until you were supposed to be there five minutes ago.
anonymous coward (Guest)
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I've learned a trick to prevent this: Make the meeting place at the home of the person closest to the intended venue. This only works if their place could plausibly serve that role however.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Cue them showing up at Jon's house and waiting outside because Jon is still in his pyjamas
anonymous coward (Guest)
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If he's being that bad that's an excuse to ask Seth to *help* *convince* Jon to get ready quicker. If he needs more of such help than once every so many months--or even much more than once in total at all--I would be surprised.
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Seth, banging a pot with a metal serving spoon: HEY JONNY YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE, JUST SO YOU KNOW! :D :D
anonymous coward (Guest)
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He would limit it to only that? I was imagining Seth hauling a struggling and horrified Jon off his bed and plopping him down into a shower. Then threatening him with even more help....
Mel Cormac
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Mel Cormac
Seth: *drags the struggling Jon into the running shower*
Jon: *hisses like a cat*
anonymous coward (Guest)
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Yes, we both know Seth loves Jon so much, and loves messing with him so much, that he would be bloody eager to inflict that kind of hell.