I have to side with Anna here!
For the next city council election, they should totally look up which candidates have "better regulation of magical shit in Fairliestoke" on their agenda!
"Magic-related incidents are responsible for 0.01% of mild injuries in Fairliestoke. Vote for me and I will ensure proper regulations are put in place for safe possession and fully informed purchasing of magical artefacts and magically endowed items, to protect that 0.01% from bites, scrapes, and curses."
No, no, Anna, that's a trap. The local council of Lesser Povertyshire haven't got the money to do a good job on their end, and therefore they'll either do a shit job of it, or they'll take a bribe to do it the wrong way. The federal level doesn't get everything right, but it's a better level to handle things that are likely to be a hazard all over the UK instead of just the place where the dodgy thing the local council signed off on takes place. In a world with mail order and the internet that means the rules for shops selling cursed goods has to be a federal matter (or ideally an international one, but dream on).
Say, I wonder what the other demons we haven't seen yet are doing to Jon, and what about that other doll Anna made of herself to impulsively try gender-bent body swapping with Seth? Surely nothing ill could be coming of those other two magical dolls that Anna also made, right?
I would be amused if the demons do come to mess with Jon, but he and Tilly are ready for it because they're both unreasonably prepared for unreasonably strange things to go wrong with their date. (Even if Jon isn't, Tilly seems rather likely to be.)
What would be the urban British equivalent of cutting off your evil hand and replacing it with a chainsaw? Perhaps replacing it with a nuclear-powered kettle so you can have a fresh cuppa anywhere, at any time? Boiling water is very much underrated as a weapon, which makes using it a properly underestimated and British thing to do. It would be a bit impractically heavy though, and worthless crap for any extended fight where you don't have a tap handy to fill the kettle again.
Attacking baddies with a kettle does sound suitably British and badass. Honestly I think Shaun of the Dead nailed it: cricket bat. Granted he didn't replace his hand with it, but y'know.
I was thinking in terms of a comparison for a chainsaw. They're loud, attention-catching, surprisingly fragile, and vastly overrated as melee weapons because they're actually heavy, awkward, dangerous tools at least as dangerous to the wielder as anyone else, and utterly useless without enough gas or electricity. So therefore it's as American a weapon choice as it gets besides a ridiculously oversized handgun or doing a hit and run with a SUV.
The British equivalent would then have to be subtle, quiet, reliable, vastly underrated, seem a little daft or odd, and comfortably useful outside its intended context. I guess a cricket bat fits it as much as any other suggestion, but that is just a hunk of wood that could've been made a thousand years ago much the same aside from maybe some details about the paint, the varnish, or the grip. If anything it fits the underrated part too well. Call me a traitor to Britishness but I'd rather have an aluminum baseball bat because of the ringing sound they make when they hit things, or a prybar for something more generally useful and punk.
For the next city council election, they should totally look up which candidates have "better regulation of magical shit in Fairliestoke" on their agenda!
Say, I wonder what the other demons we haven't seen yet are doing to Jon, and what about that other doll Anna made of herself to impulsively try gender-bent body swapping with Seth? Surely nothing ill could be coming of those other two magical dolls that Anna also made, right?
I would be amused if the demons do come to mess with Jon, but he and Tilly are ready for it because they're both unreasonably prepared for unreasonably strange things to go wrong with their date. (Even if Jon isn't, Tilly seems rather likely to be.)
"Eh, let the local council deal with it."
The British equivalent would then have to be subtle, quiet, reliable, vastly underrated, seem a little daft or odd, and comfortably useful outside its intended context. I guess a cricket bat fits it as much as any other suggestion, but that is just a hunk of wood that could've been made a thousand years ago much the same aside from maybe some details about the paint, the varnish, or the grip. If anything it fits the underrated part too well. Call me a traitor to Britishness but I'd rather have an aluminum baseball bat because of the ringing sound they make when they hit things, or a prybar for something more generally useful and punk.